Separation

Having returned to Singapore, I quickly contacted my old Singaporean friends in an attempt to maintain relationships. They being 17 this year, this year would be their first year in a Polytechnic/Junior College, as according to the Singaporean education system. Having finished secondary school where I met them, I often feel left out as I have left in the first year and miss out on all the funny antics that my friends would do. Having been gone for so long, I also haven't been there to see the change in my friends. Many are thinner, taller and of course, have more pimples on their face (as have I). Ironically, those who I predicted would be an underachievers turned out to be the achievers, with those whom I thought were overachievers turned out to be underachievers. Many have also changed for the worse, according to my friends' testimony. It was at that moment that I wondered if I could have been there to see the change have I not moved away or more importantly, if I could have been there to stop the negative change. 

I'm sure this longing to be a deeper part of your friends' life is available in all expatriates, where they had to leave their friends and family members for new ones, especially when they are those of an ethnic group that you had yet to properly interact with; where this separation is not only physical but emotional as well. With many people having culture shock on their first visit, it's not unusual for some to adopt the western culture too hastily, or to reject it entirely. At first I didn't want to change into something different than my friends recognised me as, but I did; slowly my attitude changed, hopefully for the better. 

I must stress on the fact that no matter where you are, you "cannot forget where your roots are" as my mother likes to say. Singapore has its ups and down, and my mother likes to accentuate the good aspects and avoid the bad ones in an attempt to convince me to stay in the future to seek employment. I do so by trying to maintain the bond between my friends and my love for the food. It is in this way that I am often reminded that even when you are separated physically from your family and friends, you always have a home to return to.

Cheers,

Matthew Tan