Reality and fantasy
I'll be quite blunt: I don't really enjoy my reality at the moment. I'm in the army, and right now I'm on a course where the instructors are doing anything but what they are supposed to do. Often times many scold to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better instead of correcting your mistakes, and you go home feeling worse about your results during the course rather than feeling enriched. These members are subcontracted with the army and thus those of superior rank are unable to do anything about it, only to tell us to 'hold on just for a little while longer'. I am to stay in Singapore, a country which I have grown to hate for a multitude of reasons, to complete my university degree in a local university and afterwards find a job here for convenience unless I am fortunate enough to land a job overseas as a mere graduate.
I admit that there are others put in a less fortunate position than I am and I am sure that I have no right to complain. You are right, but I do feel these emotions boiling up within me and I am unable to keep them in any longer. I find that writing about it helps me to express my emotions in a non-disruptive member (none of my family members read my blog) while logging my feelings in a crucial time in my life for, as I have stated many times before, future references.
As such, I do find salvation in made-up worlds with made-up stories, where effort is directly proportional to the work that you put in, worlds where magic and adventure exists without any restrictions, and worlds where incredible things happen spontaneously with characters as interesting in the world that they live in. I find salvation in these stories that are told within these worlds, whether in games or tv shows, and I find myself lost in them most of the time. Then comes the question; is it appropriate to get lost in these worlds such that the world around you becomes a fantasy? In essence, is it acceptable for there to be a switch, such that you treat the fantasy world to be more 'real' than your reality?
Some imagine a world with endless fields and wildlife with a significant other that one has not met yet, while some are looking for a world of fame and fortune. I suppose that in life, we always have an ideal world that we want to live in, and our job is to make that dream become a reality. I thus suppose that for now, in a world where I do not have power to make my own choices in, I should be able to imagine that I live in a world other than this, just to make this reality less harsh. I do hope that in the future, life gets better and I can just move on with making my realistic fantasies... well... reality.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
I admit that there are others put in a less fortunate position than I am and I am sure that I have no right to complain. You are right, but I do feel these emotions boiling up within me and I am unable to keep them in any longer. I find that writing about it helps me to express my emotions in a non-disruptive member (none of my family members read my blog) while logging my feelings in a crucial time in my life for, as I have stated many times before, future references.
As such, I do find salvation in made-up worlds with made-up stories, where effort is directly proportional to the work that you put in, worlds where magic and adventure exists without any restrictions, and worlds where incredible things happen spontaneously with characters as interesting in the world that they live in. I find salvation in these stories that are told within these worlds, whether in games or tv shows, and I find myself lost in them most of the time. Then comes the question; is it appropriate to get lost in these worlds such that the world around you becomes a fantasy? In essence, is it acceptable for there to be a switch, such that you treat the fantasy world to be more 'real' than your reality?
Some imagine a world with endless fields and wildlife with a significant other that one has not met yet, while some are looking for a world of fame and fortune. I suppose that in life, we always have an ideal world that we want to live in, and our job is to make that dream become a reality. I thus suppose that for now, in a world where I do not have power to make my own choices in, I should be able to imagine that I live in a world other than this, just to make this reality less harsh. I do hope that in the future, life gets better and I can just move on with making my realistic fantasies... well... reality.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
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