Being apathetic

As a young kid I never had the thoughts that my brother's had when I was their age. I never thought about the next movie coming out other than its release date (my brother would learn the director's name, the producers, the main actors, etc...) and I never thought about my studies as much as actually studying. At their age I had a rather mature perspective, which was where I viewed myself 20 years from then and working towards the goal; academically for my profession, romantically for my future marital status (this was something that struck everyone as very bizarre) and even changing my behaviour to develop a sense of morals that I wanted to have in my future that was not cultivated by my parents at the time, however small they may be. 

As such it leaves me in a very empathetic position whenever my brother's voice out their thoughts, for I never had thoughts of those like my own and it is very hard for me to understand why they don't have the thoughts that I did at the time. My brothers have no idea of what they want to do and how they should do it when at that age I was already in the process of getting it done. This, along with the rational thinking I mentioned in previous posts, often leaves me in isolation mentally, and I sometimes am in no position to give them advice other than the unhelpful "I don't understand, why don't you just make up your mind?".

In a way, I feel trapped in my own mind, but after years of filling it with knowledge it has given me nothing but good experiences and feelings of enlightenment when I look at things differently due to the knowledge that I possess. My mother complains often about radiation in the air and how it may be a cause for tumors when she fails to understand that light is a form of electromagnetic radiation (a word that scares my mother quite a bit) or when I think up of mathematics while on my run, thinking about my speed along a running track and so on. In a way, as nicely put by the Sherlock series, it is as if I have a Mind Palace, of which I feel no need to leave the enclosed area as it is a place filled with not only knowledge, but only found memories which I hold dearly. I feel satisfied, that there is no need to seek more other than the 'shipment of knowledge' that comes in whenever I decide to do some research or something or pick up a book to read. 

How do you feel, have you ever been in such a position? I'd really like to know more.

Cheers,

Matthew Tan