Under the influence of medication

I wanted to replace the word "medication" with "drugs", but I don't think it would create the desired atmosphere for this post. 

A few days ago I went for my dental surgery, of which I was put under the influence of general anaesthesia. For those who don't know, it is those surgeries you see in Grey's Anatomy where I am put to sleep. What I didn't know was that in some cases they shut off your respiratory muscles. Yes, throughout the whole duration of the operation I was not breathing by my own faculties but merely by a electric powered respirator. 

During my recovery period I was forcefully woken up, for my sbO2 levels were subnormally deficient and I had to remember to breathe in deeply while conscious. Throughout the whole ordeal of merely 'remembering to breathe' I had to try not to slip back into unconsciousness, which was quite a difficult experience while under the influence of drugs. 

Now a few days after and I am still under the influence of painkillers which does take its toll on my cognitive function. I find myself tired most times of the day, unable to sit up properly without being hit with a wave of vertigo. Reading becomes quite painful, especially when I'm reading Austin's 'Emma' which requires quite a bit of concentration in order to keep up with the story to filter the relevant from the irrelevant.

In youth one tends to think of themselves immortal to the dangers of reality. You run across the road without a care in the world, and all the dangers that happen around you somehow don't affect you physically. People may trip around you, people may lose their lives around you but somehow it does not affect you and after a while you feel yourself invincible. Of course I never put myself in harm's way, but I thought myself impenetrable to the harms of the flesh for as long as I did so. Now as I feel myself weighed down by the side-effects of painkillers, I am forced to acknowledge my mortality, something that I should have done a long time ago.

Perhaps it is because I live in such a safe place like Singapore that I never fail to notice that my life could be here in one day, yet removed from my possession in the next moment. 

If ever the pain point of the message is lost during this post please excuse me, it is hard to keep my concentration at the current moment.

Cheers,

Matthew Tan