Sick days 1 - Getting lost
I kept myself fit for quite a long time, and I was proud of the fact that I have not fell sick in over a year despite the wave of illness passing through my family every quarter. Nevertheless being healthy all the time is never a good thing, and falling sick does boost your immunity system. I was quite confused as to where this illness came from, as I have not been in contact with anyone for more than an hour a few days prior to the flu attack, and I attribute it to long hours in my room studying in the cold air conditioned room. As a result I got... you guessed it: a cold.
I suppose that of all the times to be sick, this would probably be the best time. I'm in my last week before school starts again and I'm in need of a rest. Although I haven't done as much work as I would have liked, I found there to be something missing from my life and study to me felt meaningless. As I took the days I was sick off work, I tried to find that which I was missing from my life. I continued reading my psychology book (finished it, a very good read and very relatable to me. I will address this in another post), sometimes just sitting in bed contemplating or just browsing on the internet, waiting for me to sit up and realise it.
There are many things that are changing in my life, and the exams coming up are only a portion of it. I feel that if I don't solve it now I won't be able to move on in life. It's as if the path of my life has been swept away and I've reached a clearing, I'm unsure of where to go, and you feel lost and empty. One of the worst things about it is that a lot of people in Singapore don't feel the same way, and although they have no idea of what to do they just look down and walk, taking one foot at a time which, as it both applies figuratively and in the context of my analogy, I find to be a very shortsighted view.
I find that what I am missing is an aim in life. Previously I have decided to become a physicist and do my best to be one of the leading people in physics, hoping to win a Nobel Prize. Although the temptation to do one is still there, I find my interest in physics dwindling, and I am proud to say that it is not because of a bad physics teacher, as many of my friends attribute the reason to. As I continue on through life, I find that my physics thinking-style convention has disappeared, and I start to see the world a little more differently. What this new perspective is, however, is another issue.
Right now instead of walking through life on a path, I'm taking a scroll around the area, stopping every once in a wile to smell to appreciate the view in the plains around me. Who knows? Maybe I will find a path along the way or even better yet, make one of my own.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
I suppose that of all the times to be sick, this would probably be the best time. I'm in my last week before school starts again and I'm in need of a rest. Although I haven't done as much work as I would have liked, I found there to be something missing from my life and study to me felt meaningless. As I took the days I was sick off work, I tried to find that which I was missing from my life. I continued reading my psychology book (finished it, a very good read and very relatable to me. I will address this in another post), sometimes just sitting in bed contemplating or just browsing on the internet, waiting for me to sit up and realise it.
There are many things that are changing in my life, and the exams coming up are only a portion of it. I feel that if I don't solve it now I won't be able to move on in life. It's as if the path of my life has been swept away and I've reached a clearing, I'm unsure of where to go, and you feel lost and empty. One of the worst things about it is that a lot of people in Singapore don't feel the same way, and although they have no idea of what to do they just look down and walk, taking one foot at a time which, as it both applies figuratively and in the context of my analogy, I find to be a very shortsighted view.
I find that what I am missing is an aim in life. Previously I have decided to become a physicist and do my best to be one of the leading people in physics, hoping to win a Nobel Prize. Although the temptation to do one is still there, I find my interest in physics dwindling, and I am proud to say that it is not because of a bad physics teacher, as many of my friends attribute the reason to. As I continue on through life, I find that my physics thinking-style convention has disappeared, and I start to see the world a little more differently. What this new perspective is, however, is another issue.
Right now instead of walking through life on a path, I'm taking a scroll around the area, stopping every once in a wile to smell to appreciate the view in the plains around me. Who knows? Maybe I will find a path along the way or even better yet, make one of my own.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
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