"Find what you love and let it kill you"

I find that my blog always comprises of several emotional peaks and troughs, the model of which looks ever so similar to a business model. I find that during the days of which I feel like I'm high on smoking a drug called 'life' I tend to talk about TV shows and Gaming, something that I feel ever so passionate about. It is at times like this that I justify this passion using the words of Charles Bukowski: "Find what you love and let it kill you". However note that I use his conception of "love" as a interpretation of passion rather than as a physical 'lover', of which he should have said"find who you love" rather than "what", however I digress.

Born and raised in an asian family in a Chinese oriented environment, I am told that success is measured by monetary means (salary), or merit (how much your work affects mankind), and being successful provides a means for one to be happy. For some it is the only way to be happy. One can outweigh the other to the point of not being necessary at all, and thus it's most beautifully shown in the equation:

Job Salary + Job Merit = Degree of Success = Happiness

And although I do find this important for social status, I do feel that having a life based on Games or TV show is just as valid and that:

Happiness =/ Degree of Success

After all, being a pro gamer is just as interesting an occupation as a doctor in my opinion, and it provides neither a sustainable salary or merit to society as the former, but as long as it provides you a form a happiness for the rest of your life, I think that's a pretty good way to spend the rest of your life. 

I do not wish to make a career of either gaming or TV shows, but if I could find a job that makes me happy and also provides me the money to do both, I think it may be a good career worth pursuing. For me, my life is not made up of my career and I doesn't really matter if it provides me happiness, but I suppose if I could find a job that provides both funds to fund my passions and brings me a form of happiness that neither my passions can provide, that could be a plus that someone high up there has planned for me. 

Cheers,

Matthew Tan