In the midst of the beast
I find it quite amazing how students all around the world have created a universal metaphor for the course of IB, calling it a beast. Considering that, going through the IB would be considered "taming the beast", my current situation would be "in the belly of the beast". It's hard to imagine that I have already completed two subjects within my six subject course. I still feel like I'll be going back to it the next day. Even more surreal is how we spend two years of our lives, to do a three hour exam. But I guess that's life.
I'm now in between two papers, and I have a four day break. Next week will be a full week for me, with all my higher level papers just waiting for me. In hindsight, the papers that I do are not as frequent nor as long as the IGCSE, so I do feel a little bit more comfortable. Yet when I think about it, I feel guilty that I am jealous of the man I used to be, rather than proud of the person that I have become. Although I probably objectively haven't, I feel like I put in more effort into the IGCSE exams, or at least felt like it was a important factor in my life. One may argue that maturity has caught up with me in realising that exams aren't everything, but a small voice in the back of my head tells me that 'maybe it's because you aren't putting in enough effort', and I do hope that the small voice of doubt is a lie. The younger me had a bigger craving for knowledge, but I feel that it has all disappeared in the responsibilities of life.
After exams, I need to get some things done. I need to finish movies, watch TV shows, learn for the sake of learning rather than for marks, and find myself through peace in a world filled with noise. Most importantly, I need to spend my last days with many of my foreign friends, who would be leaving a few days after the exams. But for now I am striving on, and today I will be continuing with my revision, never forgetting to take some time off to rest, relax, and blog.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
I'm now in between two papers, and I have a four day break. Next week will be a full week for me, with all my higher level papers just waiting for me. In hindsight, the papers that I do are not as frequent nor as long as the IGCSE, so I do feel a little bit more comfortable. Yet when I think about it, I feel guilty that I am jealous of the man I used to be, rather than proud of the person that I have become. Although I probably objectively haven't, I feel like I put in more effort into the IGCSE exams, or at least felt like it was a important factor in my life. One may argue that maturity has caught up with me in realising that exams aren't everything, but a small voice in the back of my head tells me that 'maybe it's because you aren't putting in enough effort', and I do hope that the small voice of doubt is a lie. The younger me had a bigger craving for knowledge, but I feel that it has all disappeared in the responsibilities of life.
After exams, I need to get some things done. I need to finish movies, watch TV shows, learn for the sake of learning rather than for marks, and find myself through peace in a world filled with noise. Most importantly, I need to spend my last days with many of my foreign friends, who would be leaving a few days after the exams. But for now I am striving on, and today I will be continuing with my revision, never forgetting to take some time off to rest, relax, and blog.
Cheers,
Matthew Tan
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