Lost in the moment

A lot of things have happened over the past two months or so that I have not posted. The COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in most of my university classes being hybrid if not fully online. At first I was ecstatic on being able to stay at home to save time. At the beginning it did feel very fulfilling. The extra time was used to improve my mastery at the piano and to cover more books, but I did find myself feeling more and more empty, and I realised that it was due to the lack of social interaction. Calling my friends online felt different, and I realised that appreciation of our friendship comes from the effort you put in to make it work. I appreciated a call now and then, but of course I would rather a face to face meeting and the lack of it did make me feel a little lonely. 

Whenever I felt a catharsis of emotions (or lack thereof), I would jot them down on a word document and transfer my feelings there. It did the trick for a while, but a few days later the same feelings would arise again. 

Then something totally unexpected happened: I fell in love. 

The story is something personal for me but with enough time I would tell it. For now I am in a happy relationship, and I'm quite happy with how things are going. It feels strange that in the year that I felt the most lonely I found someone who would become so important in my life. 

My ruminations have gone backstage at the moment, and I'm simply just trying to get through this pandemic a day at a time, for once being present in both mind and body. 

Hopefully the future holds hope for you my dear readers, the world definitely needs it. 

Cheers,

Matthew Tan